Taking It Easy...It's Actually Quite Hard

Depending on what calendar you go by I've been pregnant for about 12 weeks now. I've felt pregnant in the sense that I was constantly nauseous for several weeks (which nearly drove me into insanity) but otherwise, I've not really been convinced. I guess two miscarriages will do that to a person; you realize that while your pregnant now, in reality you may not be tomorrow.

Last week I was about 80% sure this pregnancy would also end in miscarriage and was fully prepared to deal with that. I had been spotting quite a bit and just felt kind of weird about the whole thing. I called my doctor’s office to ask some advise and was told, (and I quote) "well, it sounds like a miscarriage, but maybe not. There's nothing we can do about it so why don't you just come in next week for your scheduled appointment." Click. Just like that she was gone, no time for questions, and I had a few! I know it's true, in general there is nothing you can do about it...aside from taking 5 minutes to listen for a heart beat, seeing if my cervix is open, if necessary do an ultrasound to see IF IN FACT you can expect a small fetus to fall out at any minute. It’s just a peace of mind thing sometimes; or maybe a nice “call us if you start to bleed uncontrollably” would have been in order.

Anyway, a few hours after I called I ended up loosing a lot of blood all at once. From what I could find out on the internet/friends/books/family this is not good. I wasn't really sure what to do so after a few hours of stewing I finally went down to the ER. Now, I'm usually not one for medical intervention but I knew that the following day I would be helping host an event at Stokes Nature Center and if I was going to miscarry I thought that information might come in handy, didn't want to be up there blabbing then, SUPRISE!

The ER did all manner of over testing; it's just what they do. I was relieved to find out that the baby did still have a heartbeat (surprising to both me and the Dr) and that I had a mild placental abruption. This is when the placenta starts to become detached from the uterus; this is bad because the placenta is the baby's lifeline. Turns out this will usually repair on it's own if I just take it easy for awhile (i.e. LAY low for a week or two).

This brings me to my next ailment, the pulled groin. I hurt my "inner hiptal" on the crimson trail New Years Eve Day and have had a hard time walking even a mile ever since. I was pretty worried about it, thought for sure my body was failing me and that I would never hike more than 2 miles ever again. Luckily a trip to the Physical Therapist confirmed that it was indeed a pulled groin and would heal nicely if I would just take it easy for awhile. After I went to the ER I was thinking about how this pulled groin actually might have been a blessing in disguise. Had I not pulled my groin I surely would have kept exercising, likely pushing my body hard and likely would have disrupted an already fragile placental attachment.

Due to my nurses unhelpfulness (and a few other folks I had encountered there) I was not too impressed with the Dr's office I was planning to go to (although they were all sporting pretty cool customized soft shell north face jackets). Going to an office that looks like it was in the parade of homes is nice and all, but if you don't have the staff to back it up what's the use? I switched offices and am now seeing my Bishop (who as of next week will no longer be the Bishop but the Stake President). I know, I didn't want to go to him for obvious reasons but I'm really glad I did. Yesterdays visit was great; I just really like the guy, and his staff was awesome! My placenta is re-attaching nicely and the baby (who I'm fairly confident is a boy) is doing great.

After spending a year looking into home birth I still have dreams of going that route, but over the past few weeks I have come to terms with the fact that now is just not the right time (financially). Maybe if I make it to kid #3:) Anyway, I'm feeling good about things at present, it helps to have a Doctor who knows and cares about me, and that I can call anytime. He knows my medical aversions and respects my opinions. I will not get to labor in a hot tub; but I just try not to think about that (still trying to find a way around that one). Anyway, yesterday was perhaps the first day I actually realized I was pregnant. It's weird.

If anyone hears of a good Douala/Birth Attendant/Cool lady who knows a lot about natural birth in Logan; let me know. I'm in the market and pickings look slim. Thanks to Suz's recent birth experience I'm already feeling a bit of anxiety about the whole actual birth thing:)

This photo makes me laugh. We took this a week or two before Ari was born. We had no clue what we were in for...and I'm sure that once again we will be taken for the ride of our lives.