"will someone get her off the floor"

We really made a spectacle of ourselves the other day, looking back I'm not sure if the folks in the waiting room were terrified or trying not to laugh.

We took Ari to see his Pediatrician yesterday about his feet sliding off. After much research we feel fairly confident he has restless leg syndrome. Half my family has it, including me. One common cause is thought to be low levels of iron, so we wanted to get Ari's levels tested to see if we should try iron supplements. Our Pediatrician had done some research of his own and came up with a whole list of other things that could cause restless legs (diabetes, kidney function issues etc) so he wanted to do a full blood work-up. He made it sound like all the blood draw would consist of was a finger prick, which we thought odd, but that's what we prepped Ari for.

We arrived at Logan regional and were quickly shuffled to the back room by the worlds most incompetent Phlebotomist. I think this guy was literally fresh out of blood school, or maybe he was just a candy striper in Phlebotomist clothing...hum, never thought of that. When we came in I heard the front desk lady say to him "Are you going to do this one or just watch"? We should have ran, but we didn't. Ari sat on Joe's lap and Mr. Phlebotomist pulls out a large needle and three vials. I look at him in horror and double check that this was really necessary. Joe and I immediately started re-prepping Ari for a needle to the vein. As the Phlebotomist started I whipped out my phone and tried to find something interesting on You Tube for Ari to watch, but Ari could not tear his eyes away from his arm. As soon as the needle went in he started to scream bloody murder. I kept trying to talk to Ari to get him to look away, I tried to tell him how quick it would be, but as time went on I could see that was a lie. Mr. Phlebotomist couldn't find the vein so he just kept poking around until he finally got something, then the blood came out incredibly slow, Ari screamed the whole time. He got some blood in the first vial after what seemed like 10 minutes, took the needle out and said he needed to try a different spot. WHAT! Ari calmed down and I prepped him for another needle; this time promising him we could go to the toy store and pick out a Thomas the Train car if he would just be brave for a little longer. He reluctantly agreed. I held his hand down this time (incompetent Phlebotomist said this would help, he lied), I watched the him insert just below the vein and try to dig his way up to the vein. I don't know much about blood drawing but I was pretty sure that was bad form. I wanted to hit him, my son is screaming bloody murder and he's digging around! The blood came out in a trickle, he nervously announced the vein had collapsed and it was obvious we would need to give it another try. He took out the needle and I told Joe it wasn't worth it. Joe assured me it would be ok. I started to feel light headed.

I rested my head on Joe and Ari's lap, it didn't help. I knelt down, it didn't help. I could feel myself being pulled into a black hole so I laid on the floor. I came in and out of full consciousness. I heard something about another Phlebotomist being called in, and I heard the incompetent Phlebotomist say "we need to get her off the floor", I wanted to spit on his shoes. Joe picked me up and took me to a chair in the waiting room. The waiting room was filling up. I slouched over in the chair unable to lift my head to drink the juice I was being offered. I feel like puking. Someone brought a trash can over. I held the barf back and eventually managed to sip some juice. Someone told me I looked green.

I heard the new Phlebotomist come in. It was a woman. She was cheerful. She was doing her best to put Ari at ease. She seemed competent. I felt slightly better. She apparently got the needle in immediately and in a matter of seconds filled 3 new vials while Ari screamed (the first two tries by Mr. incompetent resulted in unusable samples). The screaming made me feel nauseous again. Soon it was over. Next thing I knew Ari came bounding out from behind the curtain with a sucker in his mouth and a tear streaked face. I tried to give him a hug but my arms were too heavy. Ari immediately starts milling about the waiting room, tried teasing a little girl who's in there and pulls out his awkward social skills. I watch him in awe, I thought for sure he would be traumatized for at least a few minutes. Nope, he apparently left that entirely up to me. It was about 5 or so minutes before I felt like I could stand up, and I never felt quite right the rest of the day. Today Ari's arms look like he's a budding heroin addict.

There was only a curtain separating all this mayhem from the waiting room. I laugh when I think what this must have looked like... I sure hope Ari never cuts his finger off or he might be calling 911 on my behalf.